When I was initially approached to share my testimony in Chinese, I was very reluctant because firstly, I am not comfortable sharing what I feel is very personal with people I do not know very well, and secondly, I cannot speak Chinese very fluently. What made me eventually change my mind was the story of Moses. When God commanded him to speak for the oppressed Hebrews, I can acutely understand the reluctance he felt. However, like him, I realized that it is not for me to decide whether or not I should share my testimony publicly, but rather, to follow through with what God wants me to do, and completely rely on Him to carry me through it.
I accepted Christ as my saviour at a tender age of 10. Coming from a non-Christian family, my foundation in Biblical knowledge was especially weak. I only knew then that Jesus Christ died for our sins because God loves us so much, and that by accepting Christ, I would be saved and could go to heaven. I certainly didn’t want to burn in the lake of fire for all eternity, and I was touched that someone would actually suffer for the entire history of mankind, past, present and future all because of love, so I believed. My non-Christian uncle, afraid that my impressionable mind had been ‘corrupted’ by religion, sought to use logic to persuade me to think carefully about my decision. I felt foolish and cried that very night he confronted me because I knew deep down that God is real but yet I couldn’t out-argue him.
So stubborn belief was what carried me through the next few years of my life as a young Christian. My knowledge of the Bible was as weak as ever, and yet due to pure laziness, I did not actively seek God’s word. I had repeatedly tried, and failed to read the Bible and do QT on a regular basis. I could not share the gospel with my family or friends without sounding stupid. And I could sense that my parent were unhappy about me spending too much time in church. Seeking to appease them, I endeavoured to make sure that I excelled academically in school. I’m not sure why, but in this aspect, God continued to bless me, despite the fact that I was slowly starving myself spiritually without noticing it. Instead of giving my life to God, I chose to live it on my own terms.
While my classmates were slowly beginning to serve in Church, there were moments when I felt left behind. Looking back, I realized that it wasn’t because I was short of opportunities, but rather, I had lacked the courage to take up responsibility in serving Him. I was neither hot nor cold. On the verge of being spit out, so to speak. When I was 16, I was nearly deceived by the devil through my encounter with Jehovah’s Witnesses. It is a long story and I don’t have much time to explain it in detail, but suffice to say, it was a period of time that I was most ashamed of calling myself a Christian. My belief in Christ hung by a thread. I only believed because I had been so used to believing in God in the past 6 years. Thankfully, with the help of a great friend and teacher, I was reeled back in. It was a lesson that greatly humbled me, and I can only thank God for sending down an angel to prevent me from falling over the edge.
There were many things I had to unlearn and relearn. Through regular, weekly Bible studying, my foundation was rebuilt, my belief re-established. Throughout the next 2 years leading up to baptism, God continued to bless me. I have friends and teachers who have supported me greatly and still do, and I can never thank God enough for these angels in my life. When it seemed that all was going well – my faith was re-established, I was serving God through my involvement in the Youth Choir and academically I was fairly stable – it was in God’s plan for me to go through one more ordeal before baptism.
As some of you may know, I came down with a severe cornea infection in the middle of last year. Naturally, I was shocked and scared. I was definitely upset that it had to happen on the year I was to take my A Level examinations and there were countless times when prayed and asked God why me? Why now of all times? Upon reflection, I guess this was God’s way of telling me that everything I have is His. No amount of complaining would make the infection disappear, so I came to terms with it and continued with life as normally as possible. Amazingly my mother told me, that if I ever came out of this without losing my eye to the infection, I should go and be baptised.
I underwent treatment for 4 months. The pain and tediousness of the treatment is something that I’ll never forget. Through it all, my parents were especially supportive. As my condition improved, I became more optimistic about avoiding a transplant. I had managed to juggle my studies and baptism class, as well as regular training for a half-marathon at the end of the year. Spiritually, I felt stable and fulfilled. Everything seemed to be going well but, this was not to last. About a month before my A levels, I was told that my cornea was permanently damaged. Again I prayed, asking God for direction, and the willingness to accept this sudden turn of events positively. I was feeling the stress from the exams, but I realize now that this was God’s way of telling me to put things in perspective. His way of reminding me and subsequently revealing to me that as long as I place Him in the driver’s seat of my life, He will surely bless me in His own way, for His own purpose.
After months of prayers from friends and teachers in church, God performed yet again another miracle, in the form of a suitable donor cornea and a successful operation 2 months ago. I heard from my doctor that there were actually a few people before me on the waiting list, but amazingly they all declined the offer, allowing me to become the recipient of this donor cornea.
And now, here I am sharing this with you all. A few years back, I would never have had the courage to do this. But I’ve come to understand first-hand that God works in many weird but wonderful ways. There is nothing I yearn more than to seek and fulfil His purpose for me, and for everything that comes my way, I’ve learnt how to simply stretch my hand out and let Him be my guide.